All aboard the Struggle Bus! This latest lockdown stole my voice. Figuratively and literally. I found myself speechless and would go long periods without talking. I could not write. In short, I was cluttered up. My words were taken away much like the Indigenous children stolen from their families in a cultural genocide. Those innocent lives, voiceless and silenced. I wanted to rage at the cosmos, the government, the church. Still do. But, nothing comes out except a noiseless scream.
A lot of heavy events have occurred as of late. My organizing business was closed down but that seems insignificant compared to a Muslim family senselessly slaughtered. Run down because of their beliefs. Hatred and violence. A devastating death in my friend circle. I have a family member with rapidly declining health. My sister had life altering surgery. I was at home with two kids and crap internet; online schooling burned me out. It feels petty to mention. Hashtag blessed culture with a side of privilege and guilt.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt (Attributed)
Writer’s Block is REAL
I’m still finding it difficult to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. Writing brings me joy but inspiration is in short supply. My business posts to the various social media platforms feel lackluster and forced. In my mind, meaningful audience engagement is shit. I don’t have anything positive to write about. No organizing or advance planning gems of wisdom. No clients that have touched me with their stories to share. It’s as if I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel.
I Never Promised You a Rose Garden
So, here’s my story instead. As you can tell, it’s not sunshine and roses. This is MY story but maybe you, in some small way, can relate. My feelings are valid. I’m experiencing them fully. They are big and sometimes ugly. I’m sad. I’m really angry. Discouraged and low on initiative too. My get up and go, got up and fucked right off. I own that. I stand wholly in my messy emotions.
Here I am, sharing my personal shit show with you. I often talk about “the messy middle” in relation to decluttering and organizing. You know, like when you’ve emptied every cupboard, drawer and closet and you are standing there surrounded by all your stuff. Piles and piles of it. You feel completely exposed and overwhelmed. That’s EXACTLY how I’m feeling right now. Vulnerable and unable to see the forest for the trees. I’m in need of a serious declutter.
Beginning. (MESSY) MIDDLE. End?
The great thing about a messy middle is that’s where the deep work happens. Acknowledging how all the stuff, or in my case, feelings, are impacting your life. Facing what’s staring straight at you even if it makes you uncomfortable. Followed by letting go. Cleansing your (head and physical) space. Decluttering the crap that no longer serves you. Removing the junk that is getting in the way of living the life you want to live. I know that’s where I am. It gives me hope because I know, from personal experience, that you have to go through things to get through things. Not over or around. This applies to tactile items as well as intangible entities like emotions.
A Decluttered Perspective
Recently, my best friend sent me a video of an audition for America’s Got Talent. The woman, Nightbirde, shared her personal story and revealed that she has cancer in multiple parts of her body. She has a 2% chance of survival. Her Golden Buzzer audition was STUNNING. She sang an original song which is always a gamble but she had nothing to lose. It was about the last year of her life. It made known hard ass judge, Simon Cowell cry. He asked her how she goes on despite her diagnoses. Her reply triggered something in me that shook me loose from the swirling mists of doubt and discouragement; “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”
I’m just going to write that again because it’s epiphany level truth…
You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.
Declutter. Organize. Simplify.
Well. Then. Well. Sure, I’m going through a tough time. So are others, guaranteed. I don’t have to dwell in the sorrow. I can certainly acknowledge it and have a wee wallow. That’s what I’m doing with this blog post. I can also choose to be happy. Give myself permission to find happiness, even for brief moments, in the midst of a very challenging period in my life. Life isn’t always easy and at this moment there’s a lot going on for me personally. I have to take some of my own advice and bloody well grant myself some grace.
Declutter. Organize. Simplify. Let’s sort it out together. My mottos for A Sorted Affair Inc. It’s how I approach working with clients. It turns out I can apply that process to my life and mindset as well. Time to practice what I preach.
The Wheels on the Bus Go Round & Round
If you’ve ever been a passenger on the organization Struggle Bus you understand that it can be a bumpy (and emotional) ride. If you’re ready to start decluttering your physical space, please consider contacting me for a complimentary consultation. I promise to navigate around the worst potholes and keep it between the lines.
Yours in All Things Sorted,
Learn More. Do More. Be Better. Repeat.
For a deeper dive into the Indigenous cultural genocide in Canada, I recommend searching out the Final Reports of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada. Buckle up, it’s a bumpy ride.
**Hateful comments are not tolerated and will be deleted. It’s bullshit that I even have to write this warning. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.**