End of life planning. Death planning. Advance Death Care Planning. Healthcare Directive Planning. Advance Directive Planning. Personal Directive Planning. Whatever you want to call it, there are A LOT of misconceptions and good old fashioned fear about the subject. Listen, I get it. No one enjoys thinking about getting ill or dying. Ew. It’s scary pondering a time when we’ll no longer exist, when our voice ceases to be heard. A time when we are parted from everything and everyone we love. Heavy stuff.
Burying your head in the sand won’t help either. Although the decisions you need to make are difficult to think about, it’s much better to have your advance planning completed. A Personal Directive (AKA Advance Directive) is a document that outlines your wishes for urgent or end of life care. It gives you a voice in case you’re unable to verbally communicate when needed. Unfortunately, myths about advance planning continue to prevail. Let’s dig in and dispel some of those myths about advance planning!
“Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.|
Winston Churchill
Myth #1-If I Plan for my Death, I’ll DIE!
REALITY: Well, this one is partially TRUE. Yes, you are going to die. We all will. It’s a known fact of our human condition. However, talking about dying and end of life wishes won’t hasten your death. Having open, normalized conversations planning for your eventual demise won’t expedite your death. Much the same way that talking about sex won’t make you pregnant. Or, sadly, that talking about winning the lottery won’t make you a millionaire. Bummer.
Myth #2-I’m Too Young to Plan
REALITY: Advance planning isn’t just for old people. If a medical emergency should happen suddenly, you want to be as prepared as possible. The best time to plan is NOW! Okay, fine. Talking about dying can be uncomfortable. And, yes, it may make your family uncomfortable talking about your death. Do you know what else is awkward, leaving your loved ones with no direction regarding your healthcare views or end of life wishes.
Myth #3-Someone Else Will Make My Healthcare Decisions
REALITY: Actually, when you write a Personal Directive YOU are making the decisions. The person(s) you’ve named as your Medical or Healthcare Delegate(s), will only carry out the choices YOU have specified. It’s important to choose a trusted individual to represent your wishes if the need arises. Completing a Personal Directive allows you to articulate your preferences based on your values and beliefs. Don’t blindside your loved ones with this responsibility when they least expect it.
Myth #4-I’ll Need a Lawyer
REALITY: Nope, you don’t need a lawyer to complete or notorize a Personal Directive. Provided you are mentally competent to make decisions, you can write one out on your own. It helps to have someone to discuss it with, say, an Advance Planner. Ahem. Cough cough. In Nova Scotia, you need a witness, someone who is NOT your listed Delegate, to sign your Directive. They must also be eighteen or older to act as a witness.
Myth#5-A Personal Directive is Good for the Rest of My Life
REALITY: Wrong! You might think that once you complete your Personal Directive, it’s good for the rest of your life. Think again. Personal Directives don’t expire, even though you will…It’s okay, take a minute to appreciate that zinger. However, it is important to review this document periodically.
Life, relationships and health situtations change. Advance Planners recommend re-evaluating your Personal Directive and end of life paperwork regularily. A quick rule of thumb is to update your Directive if you’ve experienced any of the Five D’s:
- Death of a loved one, caregiver or delegate
- Decade milestone-30, 40, 50 etc. years of age
- Decline in your medical condition
- Diagnosis of a new or significant illness or injury
- Divorce-self-explanatory
Other D-Word Myths?
I realize that I’m merely scratching the surface of misunderstandings and straightup fallacies surrounding end of life paperwork and planning. Reach out to A Sorted Affair if you are still scratching your head due to myths about Advance Planning, Personal Directives or other D-word related topics. Death. I mean death. Jeez. Leave your comments below or contact Kelly at (902) 209-3939 or kelly@sortedaffair.ca. Let’s sort it out together!
Yours in All Things Sorted,
Kelly
Looking to do a Deeper Dive into Advance Planning?
Personal Directives in Nova Scotia: https://novascotia.ca/just/pda/
Wicked cool, FREE Personal Directive app for Nova Scotians supported by The Law Foundation of Nova Scotia, Nova Scotia Justice & Legal Aid Nova Scotia: https://www.legalinfo.org/forms/personal-directive
Nova Scotia Health Patient & Family Guide-Let’s Talk About Personal Directives (2016): http://www.nshealth.ca/sites/nshealth.ca/files/patientinformation/1385.pdf
Death is guaranteed. Having had to deal with a death where paperwork was not in order was brutal. On the other hand, I’ve also dealt with a death where everything was discussed and paperwork was in order. It truly is a gift to the people left behind when decisions have been pre made. Keep spreading the word Kelly! You will no doubt be of great assistance to everyone.
Thank you, Darlene! I have experienced both prepared and unprepared scenarios. It truly is a legacy of love and a beautiful gift to leave your loved ones with a solid plan. xoxox