5 Important Things to do Before You Die-It’s Not Too Late!

If you clicked on this expecting a typical bucket list of wild and crazy things to do before you die then you might be disappointed. Instead of skydiving and swimming with dolphins, you’ll find a practical list of what you should actually do to leave an organized legacy before you die. Boring, you say? Well, leaving behind a legal mess for your loved ones to deal with is pretty lame too.

It makes sense to make plans now. You will spare unnecessary stress and guarantee that your personal wishes are met before it’s too late. So, with that mild scolding in mind, here are FIVE important things to do before you die. Well, it’s actually more like ONE important thing to do before you die that includes FIVE essential recommendations.

Create a Finale File

What’s a “Finale File”, you ask? It’s simply a file (electronic or physical), binder or even a shoebox where you store your important estate documents and any other meaningful personal effects. The file, in whatever form, needs to be easily findable for your loved ones. This file will save them time, money and (some) anguish in dealing with your death.

It doesn’t matter whether you call it a When I Die, Departure, Good to Go or All Sorted file. It won’t make it any easier for your loved ones to say goodbye, but it will make handling the aftermath of your life a lot easier. When someone you love dies, it can take years to shut down his or her life. This includes filing taxes on their behalf. Having the necessary information in one convenient location eases that burden.

What to Include in Your Finale File

1. Discuss Dying

We talk openly about our plans to attend school, establish a career, get married, travel or have children. And yet, we resist discussing one thing that will impact each and every one of us-DYING. When did we become so uncomfortable with speaking candidly about death? I believe, in part, when we started “hiding” the dying and dead behind hospital and nursing home doors. Whisking their bodies down back corridors and secret elevators to morgues.

I also suspect that two World Wars may have impacted how we handle our dead. With most burials occurring overseas, there were no bodies for families to manage and mourn. Society moved on and modern death practices where adopted due to convenience.

We no longer live with our dead. Before we would wash and dress the body of our deceased and hold vigil in the home. Sometimes for days. Although home funerals are experiencing a resurgence in popularity, in part, due to lower cost; we are still distanced from the reality of death. I get it. It’s uncomfortable. Awkward. Morbid. I’m super popular at parties. But honestly, it shouldn’t be seen as brave about speaking openly about your dying wishes. It’s sensible.

2. Money Matters

A recent American study shows that 8 in 10 middle-income Boomers (Ages 54-72) have made at least one formal preparation for when they die, while only 3 in 10 have a plan for how they will receive care in retirement should they need it. More alarming is that 3 in 10 have less than $1,000 saved in a financial emergency fund. While 4 in 5 have NO money set aside specifically for their long-term care needs.

The findings echo Canadian retirement trends. They point to a growing urgency due to insufficient financial preparations and misconceptions about cost of care. More than 40% of those surveyed cannot accurately guess the cost of home health aides and over one third of Boomers can’t accurately guess the average monthly cost of a nursing home. Additionally, 56% mistakenly believe that the government or health care will pay for all their ongoing, long-term care. That’s not the case.

In addition to end of life expenses like funeral planning, it’s key to start thinking about long-term care costs. Associated expenses may include: life & disability insurance, investments, moving or downsizing, renovations to age in place, in home or extra supports like foot care, cleaning and property maintenance. Just to name a few…these are crucial budget considerations.

3. Care of Corpse & Other Arrangements

Did the word corpse make you cringe? Just a little? Would you rather dead body? Does that work for you? I mean no disrespect. Instructions for final disposition are just that, what you want done with your body when you die. Cremation leads in popularity, 70% of Nova Scotians choose this method. Embalming and natural burial are options too. Alkaline Hydrolysis, or “water cremation, and decomposition (body composting) are not yet available in the province.

Do you have a type of funeral service in mind? Or, none at all? Would you prefer a less traditional celebration of life event or a karaoke ripper? I said ripper, not stripper. However, a popular rite of passage in Taiwan includes hiring exotic dancers to perform the during the funeral procession as a way to celebrate the life of the deceased. Neat. Next step? Discuss and document your wishes.

4. Leave a Legacy

An ethical will transfers immaterial things like your life lessons and values. While a legal will covers the transfer of assets or “things”. Ethical wills may include: letters to loved ones, family recipes, videos or recordings, favourite quotes or words of wisdom from the deceased. The possibilities are endless. One enterprising Irish man left a funny recording for those attending his funeral. As his coffin was being lowered into the ground, his voice could be heard saying “Let me out!”

To be clear, an ethical will does not replace a legal will, it’s complementary. What would you include in your ethical will? Your life story either written or filmed? Perhaps, your obituary or an autobiographical eulogy? Maybe a song list that represents your personal views and life reflections? Your Grade 8 diary entries? It’s entirely up to you.

5. Practical Paperwork

Three important end of life documents to include in your Finale File are: a signed personal directive, a notarized power of attorney and a will. According to Deborah Luscomb, owner of Death Matters, 37% of Nova Scotians have a will. Only 10% have a completed personal health care directive. This document gives you a voice, via a delegate, if you end up in the hospital and can’t speak for yourself. There’s room for improvement here, folks.

There is a slew of other paperwork that aids in settling your affairs. At last count there were over 80 items to consider when someone dies. In an effort not to overwhelm you, here is an incomplete list of common paperwork to include in a Finale File:

• Marriage, divorce & birth certificate(s)
• Passwords for phone, computer, email & social media accounts-use a tool like an online password manager to collect them all & share the master password with someone you TRUST
• Account numbers & pending transactions of household bills
• Emergency contact information & next of kin
• List of who to notify when death occurs-lawyer, doctor, employer, insurance agent, executor etc.
• Insurance policies (life, health, car, property)
• Parents names & birthplaces-this information is needed for death certificates
• Instructions for your funeral and final disposition
• An ethical will

One More Important Thing to do Before You Die

There is one more important thing that you can do before you die. Live your life. Do those wild and crazy things typically reserved for a bucket list NOW. You won’t find bungee jumping or hiking through the Himalayas on my kick the bucket list. Mostly, because I’m not a fan of heights. What you will find is a completed Finale File. Also, a trip to France.

If you are looking for guidance with compiling your Finale File, reach out to Kelly. Creating a Finale File is an act of love. It helps make a difficult thing like dying or, loving someone who is dying, less difficult. Let’s sort it out together.

Yours in All Things Sorted,

Kelly

Looking for ways to Start Conversation About Dying?

I mean, who isn’t? Kidding, I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Having conversations about your thoughts for end of life may be difficult. You might be ready but others, not so much. Or, vice versa. Here are two reputable organizations that aim to break down stigma surrounding talking about dying and death.

Dying Matters is a coalition that raises awareness of dying, death and bereavement through conversations and resources. Check out their Conversation Project initiative: https://www.dyingmatters.org/

The Death Deck is a Canadian-owned company that sells a party game. It allows players to explore a topic that we are often afraid to discuss. You’ve got it-DEATH: https://thedeathdeck.com/

Here’s a really great book by Shoshana Berger and BJ Miller that I also would recommend: A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death