Why Personal Directives Are So Important

What’s the Big Emergency Anyway?

I recently spent 16 hours in the emergency department with my ill father.  For the first 5 hours of our experience, he was on a stretcher in the hallway next to the ambulance receiving doors.  So, worry aside, I had a constant stream of entertainment for the full moon shift.  There were moaners, pukers and even an individual who managed to strip naked, despite being handcuffed behind his back!  I was impressed. The family rooms were quickly claimed for patients brought in by correctional officers. Now, this could very easily become a piece on the crisis state of our medical care system and access to mental health services. But, it’s not.  It’s about advanced planning for end of life and Personal Directives.

Personal Directives Can Be A Matter of Life or Death

I began to grow alarmed at the number of elderly patients arriving through the doors. They were alone, without support from family or friends.  I realize that not everyone is blessed to have family or caregivers close by in emergency situations. I learned, through experience, that it’s much easier for the patient and medical professionals when an advocate is present.  Someone to serve as a medical designate is vitally important.  It’s often a matter of life or death.

Many of these people were weak or unconscious and unable to communicate verbally.  Briefly, I felt very smug. I sat there knowing that regardless of the outcome with my Dad, we would be okay. He has three critical pieces of end of life paperwork. A Will, an Enduring Power of Attorney and a Personal Directive with a medical delegate (Me!  Yay?).  Or, so I thought.  I’ll come back to this shortly.  Note to self:  Smugness is not a good look, it clashes with your hair.

What is a Personal Directive?

I’m so glad you asked!  Simply, it’s a legal document. It allows you to lay out your personal care decisions and how they are to be made for you if/when you are not mentally capable of making those decisions.  It ONLY takes effect when you are alive and mentally incapable or not able to communicate.  So, why are personal directives so important?  Well, imagine if you somehow lost your ability to make decisions through a traumatic injury. Or slowly, over time, due to dementia or Alzheimer’s disease… 

Who would you want to make decisions on your behalf?

Critically important decisions about:  your health care, personal care, nutrition, hydration, shelter, residence, clothing, cultural & religious beliefs, hygiene, safety, comfort, recreation, social activities and support services either permanently or temporarily? 

I’m betting you’d want a medical delegate who is: trustworthy, knows you very well, is willing to respect your wishes and is able to make difficult decisions under stressful circumstances. Perhaps, someone who is willing to delete your search history. Hey, no judgement. An individual who is prepared to bar an ex or an unwanted relative from your sickbed. Somebody who is tenacious and gets things done, especially in the face of adversity. Consider an individual who will enforce your wishes and clearly communicate them on your behalf. So, basically a dominatrix.

Where there’s a Will there should also be a Power of Attorney

To be clear, it is also important to appoint someone who will be able to look after your money and any financial affairs like paying bills if you are unable to do so. You can’t designate someone to do these things through a Personal Directive. You need an Enduring Power of Attorney (while you’re alive).  A Will comes into effect once you die, the Executor of your Will does not have any authority to act on your behalf while you are still alive. Unless, of course, you have named that same individual as your medical delegate in your Personal Directive.  In any case, I advise that you speak with a lawyer.

Best Laid Plans?

So, back to my brief moment of smug.  Yes, my father has a Personal Directive and I’m named as his delegate. I am able to make medical decisions on his behalf if he cannot. However, his current health and level of medical intervention has changed significantly since he completed his Personal Directive a few years ago.  Based on the outdated information, if I had to make a medical decision as his delegate, his death would be guaranteed in as little as 10 days. It’s super important to have a Personal Directive but it’s also necessary to revisit it regularly. Cuz, yikes!

Advance Planning Guru, Amy Pickard, recommends reviewing your Personal Directive and other end of life paperwork on Halloween or Day of the Dead. When the veils are, allegedly, thinnest between the realms of the living and dead. If that’s too morbid for you then maybe during the spring and fall time change is a better fit for you. Don’t forget about changing the batteries in your smoke detector too!

Mmmmmmm. Cheese.

My sister and I are a part of the “sandwich” generation. While I enjoy the thought of comparing myself to delicious cheese, the reality is that while we are raising our families we will also be providing elder care for our aging parents.  If I can impress one thing on you, it’s the importance of advanced planning for your future.

A Personal Directive provides me with a level of comfort knowing that I have the right people in place to make personal care decisions for me if I am unable to do so; it ensures that my choices are understood and respected.  And yes, you can assign more than one delegate.  I even have a backup for my backup delegate.  Now, if only they’d stop joking about playing Rock/Paper/Scissors on who gets to pull the life support plug.

Do You Need Help With End of Life Planning?

There is much more to end of life planning than writing a will or completing a personal directive. There are many details that need to be sorted. Don’t leave the people you love completely unprepared to make important decisions on your behalf. Is that the legacy you want to be remembered by? It’s time to stop avoiding the difficult conversations. Take control over your inevitable departure. Call or text (902) 209-3939, I’ll help sort your affairs.

“Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.” Alan Lakein

Yours in All Things Sorted,

Kelly

Did You Know?

Nova Scotia has a Personal Directives Act. Learn more about this important end of life document: http://novascotia.ca/just/pda/.